Aug 11, 2005

Required reading...

I came across this through Monsterblog. Wonderful reading and will undoubtedly bring groans of empathy from most people working in offices these days from http://www.iworkwithfools.com/

Phone rings. CASPER answers it.
CASPER: Hello.
BOSS: Casper? I need you to write a program that takes images off of an optical drive and stores them on the AS/400. IBM has API’s to do this, but they don't support the hardware or the software anymore so the API’s might not work.
CASPER: Ok, well if everything works, and there is documentation on the API’s, I can slap something together. But I need more detail on the interface and everything. When do you need it?
BOSS: In one week. What is doc...docu...documenta....
CASPER: Documentation. And one week is a little too tight.
BOSS: Ok. Start working on it and I will find you some dobumenbation.
CASPER: Documentation.
BOSS: Whatever.
Click. The phone goes dead.

Three weeks later. Phone rings. CASPER answers.
CASPER: Hello.
BOSS: Hey! How's that project coming...what was it? Double-mint-nation or something?
CASPER: You mean documentation?
BOSS: Yeah! That’s it! How's that doo...er...stuff coming?
CASPER: Well you were supposed to get me some more info on what the client needs – interface-wise – and scare up some documentation on the API’s.
BOSS: You have to think outside the box; work smarter not harder. You need some synergy, blah, blah, blah.
CASPER: No, just some documentation.
BOSS: Jeez! What is it with you and doctor-menstruation?
CASPER: Documentation.
BOSS: Whatever.
Click.

[Not The End]"

Aug 10, 2005

Free swag...



Get a free issue of Photoshop User magazine just by filling out a form - found in the Photoshop 7.0 box. Click on the mag cover above.

Aug 9, 2005

More from the workaday world..

I was doing some looking around for some data for another entry and I came across this by way of the extremely readable Monster blog. It’s a great observation.

© 2005 from Games Companies Play: The Job Hunter's Guide to Playing Smart & Winning Big in the High-Stakes Hiring Game by Pierre Mornell

Once upon a time, a highly successful executive was hit by a bus, and she died. She was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. Strangely enough, we’ve never once had an executive make it this far, and we’re really not sure this is where you belong. What we’re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Then you can choose where you want to spend eternity.”

“Actually,” said the woman, “I think I’d prefer to stay in Heaven.”

“Sorry, we have rules...,” said St. Peter, and with that, he put the executive in an elevator, and it went down, down, down to Hell.

The doors opened, and the executive stepped out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club, and there to greet her were her business associates, friends, and colleagues, all dressed in evening clothes and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks, and they talked about old times. They played a great round of golf and went to the country club for dinner and dancing that night, where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster meal.

She met the Devil, who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute). The conversation was spirited, and she never laughed so hard in her life. In fact, she was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up, up, up, St. Peter awaited her.

“Now it’s time to spend a day in Heaven,” he said. And for twenty-four hours, she lounged on clouds, caught a harp concert, and listened to a choir of angels. She had a great time, and before she knew it, her twenty-four hours were up.

“So, you’ve spent a day in Hell, and you’ve spent a day in Heaven,” said St. Peter when they met again, “Now you must choose your eternity.”

The woman paused, and then replied, “Well, I never thought I’d say this. I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell.”

So St. Peter escorted her back to the elevator, said so long, and she went back to Hell. This time when the doors of the elevator opened, the executive found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. Her friends were there, but dressed in rags, and they were picking up garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

“I don’t understand,” stammered the woman, “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club, and we ate steak, and we danced and had a great time. Now there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”

The Devil smiled. “Yesterday, we were recruiting you,” he said, “ Today you’re staff.”

Aug 8, 2005

Talking about Lorenz and baseball...

Funny thing, I was listening to NPR this afternoon and heard the annoucer talk about (what sounded like) a Lorenz contraction while watching a baseball game, immediately my mind went to a friend who is a big Yankees fan

Lorentz contraction

(lôr´?nts) , in physics, contraction or foreshortening of a moving body in the direction of its motion, proposed by H. A. Lorentz on theoretical grounds and based on an earlier suggestion by G. F. Fitzgerald; it is sometimes called the Fitzgerald, or Lorentz-Fitzgerald, contraction.


The story was broadcast on All Things Considered

You can access the story directly by clicking this link.
What does the future hold?

An interesting page from U.S. Department of Labor Bureau of Labor Statistics Occupational Outlook Handbook

Artists and Related Workers

    Significant Points

    More than half of all artists and related workers were self-employed—almost eight times the proportion for all professional and related occupations.

    Artists usually develop their skills through a bachelor’s degree program or other postsecondary training in art or design.

    Keen competition is expected for both salaried jobs and freelance work, because many talented people are attracted to the visual arts.


Definitely worth a look.
The End of An Era?

Earlier this year, I was on my way to a movie on the upper west side on a bitterly cold February Sunday. As I walked with my companion, she briefly stopped and turned to her left.

“Did you see who that was?”

Being intent on getting to the theater in time to catch the movie, as well as wanting to get out of the cold, I had paid little attention to other pedestrians, “No, who are you talking about?”

She gestured back over her shoulder and up the side street we had just crossed pointing towards a man dressed an expensive looking overcoat making his way towards Colombus Avenue, “That was Peter Jennings!”

“Yeah the ABC studios are around the corner on 67th street.”

“But, he was walking a dog...”

Sure enough, when I looked again I noticed his right hand bore the telltale gesture of a dog-walker trying to reign in his pet. His left hand was held tightly at his side, shortly a small telltale cloud quickly appeared and then vanished in the cold winter breeze.



For more than two decades, he had been part of a trio of anchors – with Dan Rather of CBS and Tom Brokaw of NBC – who guided Americans through important news events on the major U.S. networks.

"There are a lot of people who think our job is to reassure the public every night that their home, their community and their nation is safe," he once told Jeff Alan, author of Anchoring America: The Changing Face of Network News.

"I don't subscribe to that at all. I subscribe to leaving people with essentially – sorry, it's a cliché – a rough draft of history. Some days it's reassuring, some days it's absolutely destructive.”


Jennings was part of an era, an era where Americans turned to the three large broadcast networks each evening to find out what was going on in the world. His integrity was never called into question and he will be missed.

Aug 3, 2005

You know how some things just seem so wrong...

My friend Don is preparing to make his annual trek up to Burning Man. He loves it and so each and every year he makes his way from LA up to the desert just to be there. I’ve been talking about going out west for awhile now and the last time I spoke with Don he was really eager to know when I would get out there.

I thought I would do some online research about the whole Burning Man experience. I knew what it was (having read an article in WIRED about it many, many years ago) but, I still didn’t know the specifics.

As I was looking through the events, one of the things posted was this:

Description: Enemas have been a part of human history for thousands of years. Drop by and have a cup of coffee with us. The Best Part of waking up is coffee up your butt. Explore the sensuality and Heal this most over-looked and under-rated Chakra (Power Center). Look for us on Uranus @ 9:00
Date: Monday, August 29, 2005 - Sunday, September 4, 2005 (every Day)
(Updated: Thursday, July 21, 2005 2:03pm)
Time: 7:00am-8:00am
Duration: 60 minutes
Category: Classes/Workshops
Hosted by/Camp Name: Sacred Space - Anal Probe Camp
Email: sacred.space@att.net


As appealing as that might be to some, I think I’ll just stick to my morning cup of espresso - partaken through the mouth of course.

The best part of waking up, is not Folgers up my butt!
You know, when I wrote the entry about Global Frequency I had only watched about the first five minutes or so. Last night I got about halfway through the thing.

In a word... WOW!

It managed to hit just about every note correctly. Equal measures of suspense, action, creepiness all evident. Great visual effects too! I cannot imagine who in their right mind passed on this. Don’t be surprised to see the series show up on USA, SciFi or even FOX.

Aug 2, 2005

Speaking of Warren Ellis work...



I’ve mentioned in the past my fondness for Planetary - one of the best books around a truly fun read. Lo and behold, DC Comics has been magnanimous enough to post the entire first issue as a free pdf download on their website. Definitely worth a read if you’ve got the bandwidth:

Planetary - Issue 1
The best tv show that never made it to broadcast...



I was looking forward to seeing Global Frequency make it to television. Apparently though, because of a change in the reigning junta at the WB it’s not to be. In the meantime, the big news was that the pilot episode (the only thing actually shot for air) had been posted on a P2P network and had been burning up the wire. This of course caused no small amount of consternation from the folks at the WB who, even though they had decided to pass on the show, were upset people were interested in downloading and viewing something they had not deemed worthy to put on their schedule.

Well, I’ve seen the pilot and I have to say I can understand why they’re upset. The thing looks like it would be a hit. The whole story of the pilot being put onto P2P makes for some interesting reading as well...

image from frequencysite.com very interesting, check them out.

Jul 25, 2005

We interrupt our war on terrorism, to bring you this constitutional reminder...

Afterward, the riders of this bus got t-shirts saying:

“I went to New York and all I got was
this lousy t-shirt, a frisk and a body cavity search!”



Late breaking news from the year 1791:

Amendment IV - Search and seizure. Ratified 12/15/1791.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.


People! The world is not a safe place.

Let’s all repeat that... THE WORLD IS NOT A SAFE PLACE!

No amount of searching, frisking, prodding or probing will ever make it that way. If this reasoning were truly effective, why are there still hand guns being sold in this country? The only people who will get screwed by crap like this are the ordinary citizens of this country! F**king wake up! Are the people of this country so incredibly bovine like, they will give up each and every liberty that makes this country a better place to live than a lot of others? Whether you have something to hide or not do you really want to give the police the ability to just stop you and pry into your life just because they don’t like the way you look?
Some notes on the issue of privacy...

From the ACLU’s site - five reasons why national identity cards should not be instituted...

A national ID card system would not protect us from terrorism, but it would create a system of internal passports that would significantly diminish the freedom and privacy of law-abiding citizens.Once put in place, it is exceedingly unlikely that such a system would be restricted to its original purpose. Social Security numbers, for example, were originally intended to be used only to administer the retirement program. But that limit has been routinely ignored and steadily abandoned over the past 50 years.A national ID system would threaten the privacy that Americans have always enjoyed and gradually increase the control that government and business wields over everyday citizens.

Jul 23, 2005

Ahead of the curve...

From the WoP on June 22:

There are four guys I am hoping the Mets will pursue - I doubt they’ll get them but I certainly hope they do. The players are: Sean Casey, Alfonso Soriano, Eric Milton and Mark Redman


I pride myself on being a forward thinker when it comes to baseball. It’s a month to the day when the local guys on the sports beat finally catch up to me:

From the July 22nd edition of Newsday:

Those extra arms, however, could help land another experienced bat, such as Alfonso Soriano or Sean Casey. Texas needs more starting pitching to stay in contention, and with an abundance of young power hitters, Soriano - never a favorite of manager Buck Showalter - may be expendable.

The Mets scuttled trades that would have sent Jose Reyes or Scott Kazmir to the Rangers for Soriano before last season, then later shipped Kazmir to Tampa Bay, anyway, for Victor Zambrano.

Soriano would be a natural fit at second base. Minaya didn't sign Kaz Matsui, who is a lost cause with another season left on his three-year, $20.1-million deal, and the new GM does not have a history of sitting on his hands at the deadline.

One person familiar with the situation said the Mets and Rangers already have talked about Soriano. His 23 homers this season make him more attractive than Casey (.304, four homers), but the Rangers are reluctant to deal the slugging second baseman, and a trade seems unlikely at this point.

Soriano avoided arbitration by agreeing to a $7.5-million salary for this season - a $2.1-million raise - and he'll get another bump for 2006. Casey is making $7.8 million, and the Reds already picked up his $8.5-million option for 2006.

The Mets could put together an attractive package for either team, with a major-leaguer such as Aaron Heilman combined with prospects such as righthander Yusmiero Petit or outfielders Victor Diaz and Lastings Milledge, though Milledge is regarded as a nearly untouchable talent.


Actually, I had already figured on the players in the package which could land either guy and the only name I could see going from those aforementioned was Victor Diaz. Soriano could be had for a starting pitcher (pick a name from the following: Ishi, Zambrano or Glavine - take your pick) and Kaz Matsui (who will never get a decent break here in New York and could do with the change of scenery). Casey should be part of a package along with Milton and could be had for Diaz and two of the following potchers - Dae Sung Koo, Royce Ring, Zambrano or Ishi). Marlon Anderson or Chris Woodward could also be included in this deal. Tune back in in a month to see if I was on the money. Lord knows, I appear to have gotten it wrong on the London Underground theory.

(bet you never noticed the intentional thing with the inits of the blog - sometimes you just got to rub people’s noses in things)

Jul 22, 2005

Imagine a cross between the Matrix with shades of The Wall...



Set against the futuristic landscape of totalitarian Britain, V For Vendetta tells the story of a mild-mannered young woman named Evey (Natalie Portman) who is rescued from a life-and-death situation by a masked vigilante known only as “V.” Incomparably charismatic and ferociously skilled in the art of combat and deception, V ignites a revolution when he detonates two London landmarks and takes over the government-controlled airwaves, urging his fellow citizens to rise up against tyranny and oppression. As Evey uncovers the truth about V’s mysterious background, she also discovers the truth about herself – and emerges as his unlikely ally in the culmination of his plot to bring freedom and justice back to a society fraught with cruelty and corruption.
Shoo! Shoo! Retarded flu!

Truly funny animation of prank phone call from The Stern show - bandwidth required.

No, it’s not your imagination...

Whatever happened to the Great American Lunch Hour when office workers took a leisurely hour to dine with colleagues or friends? Fifty-five percent of American office workers said they engage in other activities besides eating during their lunch hour in a typical workweek, according to the Steelcase Workplace Index, a semiannual survey that gauges workplace trends in the United States. And of those, nearly 40 percent said they have exchanged their traditional lunch hour for some extra time to catch up on their work.

Jul 20, 2005

Yes, it’s true...

I am lazy. Easily as lazy as anyone out there. So, when Eva started a blog and I noticed how much nicer it looked it did bother me. I’ve procrastinated for a long time, figuring eventually I’ll build a site of my own with this spectacular and beautiful design. Two years later, while I’ve tweaked it, I was generally unhappy with the way the thing looked. Since I’ve been spending all this time upgrading software and installing the home network (yay, for DSL!), I thought I might as well look around and see what was available for free in the way of blog templates. So, I picked this style which will at least allow me to set up a decent links section (which I’ve wanted to do for awhile now). The links section will get built out in the coming weeks and hopefully as I play around with the template I’ll learn a thing or two in the process.